Heyyyy! My maaaaaan! Yup, this month it's the turn of Flint's most famous son to be pinned down under the magnifying glasses of ZZAP Research Department (Serious Investigations Branch). He may be cool, he may be Rad, but did you know that his favourite pastimes include exchanging anecdotes with ageing sheep, eating raw eggs with whisky and laughing at the wrong moment? Weellll, there you go. Here's another brace of pheasant-like facts about everyone's favourite adopted Welshman. As a baby, 'Maff' was suckled by a race of mountain gorillas, after he crash landed in Central Africa during a freak storm. He regularly attended an AA-sponsored 'drying out' camp - when he was only 5 year old! His reputation for drinking hard water is legendary in the street where he lives. Matthew's gargantuan appendages have sired 25 puppies - he is also know as Dawnkee Dique, Big Maff and The Big Dipper. Everyone's favourite Rad-Lad has hated snakes ever since he had a close shave with a swiftly-moving anaconda at primary school. His full name is Matthew Paul Alphonso Giovanni Ricardo Perry Como Doublespeed Tapedeck Pneumatic Rotating Head Evans'. He is a weirdo, and has been shunned by society many times. Our local Romeo recently fall in love with a Ludlovian girl: for 2 weeks he stared out of the window, lost weight, pined, sighed and tripped over large objects. Maff is currently growing his hair long again to celebrate the 19th anniversary of the passing of the 60s. He is currently ZZAP!'s most popular reviewer, as revealed by a recent Nationwide survey. No he's not.