The following information is borrowed from the November 1988 issue of ZZAP! 64
© ZZAP! 64 Ltd / Newsfield 1988
Oh God! There's a huge, blubbery lard-ass coming this way! Aaaaaargh! Oh
no - it's OK - it's only ZZAP!'s sheep-loving, half-human answer to the
EEC butter mountain, Gordon 'Don't call me fat or I'll kill you'
Houghton. But is there a man behind the cliche? Is there a sensitive,
caring human being beneath those rippling rolls of reconstituted pork?
Does this obese, suety human pudding have a story? Well, no - but listed
below are 10 facts (all true) which our crack team mangaged to uncover
about him before being crushed to death.
- He was the model for the Ewok village.
- His hobbies include collecting china thimbles, silk flowers and wax
- Gordon's father was a barrage balloon in the Second World War.
- He's fat.
- The well-upholstered Behemoth almost completed a YTS course as a
sheep, but was expelled for ravaging a sheepdog.
- He is happiest when at home with Rasher, Gammon and Oyster, his pet
- Five things that Gordon has been mistaken for: Australia; the Queen;
an Editor; Bobby Charlton; Paul Glancey.
- His most vicious act was to kidnap and skin alive Paul's dog,
- Our token office overweight freak's average meal includes three
chickens, 18lb of chips, 23lb of assorted vegetables and a gallon of
gravy - all washed down by six gallons of beer!
- Three of his abitions: to be God; to host Blue Peter like his hero,
John Noakes; to grow gills and become a pilchard.