Here's another transcript, taken from when Nick stood in for Ian Collins in 1996.

Nick: Here's Bellvadere

Mel: I don't believe this

Nick: Neil

Mel: Mel

Nick: Believe it

Mel: Mel !

Nick: Mel

Mel: What's happened ?

Nick: What has happened ?

Mel: Have you been having me on ? (Laughs) Have you been having me on ?

Nick: Oh, there's a parrot in the background

Mel: Get out of it !

Nick: There's an echo ?

Mel: (Laughs) You've been winding me up haven't you ?

Nick: No, no, I've been having you on."

Mel: (Whilst laughing) Yeah, I know you have ! That was brilliant !

Nick: What was ?

Mel: What was all that ?

Nick: Erm....

Mel: You've been having me on you have !

Nick: That's 3 times I've been having you on

Mel: I know you have ! And me like a lemon bloody took it

Nick: So, er..(Mel laughs) Do you have any idea what you're talking about ?

Mel: Well I know what I was gonna' be talking about but I've been listening though

Nick: What is it that you've been listening to ?!

Mel: I don't know (Laughs) I don't know, but it made me laugh

Nick: (Cockney accent) Well you've gotta' 'ave a laugh ain't ya ?

Mel: Cor Jesus, that was funny. It's not just me that was listening to that was it ?

Nick: (Laughs) I don't know what you were listening to, we still haven't established that

Mel: Something about Hitler and everything

Nick: Hitler ? No, Hitler will be the topic at the four o' clock hour

Mel: What have you been doing to me ?

Nick: So we'll be talking about tyres, trees and then Hitler

Mel: I only wanted to talk about smelling salts

Nick: O.K. call James Whale. Here's Paul in Wakefield........