After the success of the Scottie McClue phone out and the scandal of the LBC phone out Nick promised never to phone another radio station. However listener's begged him to phone CNFM in Cambridge (Now known as Q103) and after the go-ahead from the bosses he finally got round to it. After trying to get through for an hour and a half getting engaged tones, various BT messages and no answer he finally struck gold........

(Dials number)

Nick: Clint, is this a private line ? (Clint mumbles something) Oh, ok. (Keeps dialling number) I don't even know what I'm going to say when I get on. (Phone rings) So what is this guy's name ? Wayne Fitztightly. I'll call him Dwayne, really piss him off. (Phone continues to ring) Are they erm...do people like..

Wayne: (Picks up phone) Hello ?

Nick: Hello is this CNFM ?

Wayne: Sort of.

Nick: This is Nick Abbot from Virgin 1215 and it's the law that I tell you you're on the air right now because otherwise they'll suspend me for another couple of days.

Wayne: Well that's very exciting.

Nick: And you know money means nothing to me but another thousand pounds I just couldn't deal with it. Is this the Dwayne Fitzgerald show ?

Wayne: It could well be.

Nick: It could well be ? What don't you know ?

Wayne: Do you know, you dialled the number.

Nick: That's right.

Wayne: So who are you dialling ?

Nick: The Dwayne Fitzgerald show.

Wayne: Oh no, never heard of him.

Nick: Is it Wayne Fitzgerald ?

Wayne: It could well be....could well be.

Nick: Well is it or isn't it !?!

Wayne: Is it or isn't it ? Hmmm... That's an interesting question. My name is Wayne, yes.

Nick:Oh...you're...is this....you are Wayne ?

Wayne: Yes.

Nick: Excellent ! I've been told that you play Blackjack on the air.

Wayne: That's correct.

Nick: Excellent, can I play ?

Wayne: Finished tonight, I'm afraid.

Nick: You're finished tonight ?

Wayne: Yes, the quiz has finished.

Nick: Have you finished ?

Wayne: Oh no. Hit music 24 hours a day in crystal clear stereo.

Nick: Rrrright. So what are you up to now Dwayne ?

Wayne: Playing Gloria Estefan at the moment.

Nick: (Laughs) Gloria Estefan ? Excellent. So can't I even get on the air with you ?

Wayne: Erm, no I don't think so.

Nick: Little too scared for that eh ?

Wayne: No we don't take callers after 1a.m.

Nick: So you want to stick to the rules at all times.

Wayne: Quite correct.

Nick: I bet you do. I've been hearing excellent things about you, man.

Wayne: Well yes, one of our colleagues, you know.

Nick: One of whose colleagues ?

Wayne: Hang on a second, got to put you on hold.

Nick: Oh yeah right, ok. Thanks a lot mate (Whiney voice) 'Well it could be !' Wasn't he great ? Man, I wish we could pick that station up here because you know I can't get to sleep at night and would he help or what ? Now, Paul Weller.

(He played a song here, I paused my tape and when I unpaused this is what was going on)

Nick: And you're on the air again. I want to write that in big illuminous letters and underline it in red Ok ?

Wayne: Ok

Nick: Because it cost me an awful lot of money last time and I'm not prepared to go through *that* again.

Wayne: Well Virgin get all their best Dj's from us.

Nick: Oh, yeah right. Can I ask you a question ?

Wayne: You can try.

Nick: Do you still have that lost pet board right inside the front door ?

Wayne: No, we don't

Nick: I bet you do.

Wayne: It's been replaced.

Nick: Yeah with a lost granny board. So have you found any lost pets lately ?

Wayne: No, we don't do that kind of thing on this show, as it's taken you an hour and a half to get through it's obviously a popular quiz you see.

Nick: No I was ringing the wrong number, I hate to break the news to you

Wayne: No you weren't.

Nick: As soon as I got the right number I got straight through, trust me.

Wayne: Virgin steal all our best Dj's.

Nick: That's true enough.

Wayne: Paul Coyte is now working for you.

Nick: He's following me, he's in the building right now. Oh, he said so many nice things about you.

Wayne: Give him my regards.

Nick: Yeah Ok pal, will do.

Wayne: If you want to call tommorrow, Radio Blackjack's on the air.

Nick: All right how much do I win ? I'll play you 5 card stud poker for a hundred pounds right now, are you up for it ?

Wayne: Double the prizes if it's a 5 card trick.

Nick: Are you up for it ?

Wayne: Am I up for what ?

Nick: A hundred pounds stud poker...

Wayne: Oh no, I don't play poker.

Nick: Ok, You want to chicken out on that one, huh ?

Wayne: Only strip poker with ladies.

Nick: Yeah right.

Wayne: On CNFM 103

Nick: Well as long as you don't say anything stupid moronic or sexist then that's ok.

Wayne: Alright.

Nick: See you.

Wayne: Hey Rick, nice talking to you.

Nick: Yeah and you Dwayne.

Wayne: Bye.

Nick: Bye, bye. Hmmm. (Pause) It took so long and was it worth it ? Not really.