Nick: OK if anyone's got any 'you're so fat' jokes then please send them in, the fax number is 0541 59 69 79, we want Kev's mum to get really upset with Kev.

Kev: She's already upset.

Nick: With you ?

Kev: No, with you.

Nick: with me ?

Kev: Yes.

Nick: It's got nothing to do with me.

Kev: Well technically she's upset with me for being associated with you.

Nick: See, there you go.

Kev: But it's your fault.

Nick: Me ? What the hell have I got to do with it ?

Kev: You're the presenter, the air talent.

Nick: I like it when, erm, because that's an American phrase, air talent and bosses are starting to use it over here but they always snigger as they say it.

Kev: Our boss does while describing you as a matter of fact.

Nick: Yeah, the air talent they smirk. (laughs) The sales talent.

Kev: Sales talent ?

Nick: Sure, the sales holes (laughs) That's not my phrase, that Neil Rogers, the sales holes and they will be known as that for ever more. They are very nice people. They scare me to death when I go through there because they don't know who I am.

Kev: Are they talking to you yet ?

Nick: No, they peer at me...Who the hell are you ? 'It's Kev's mate again' they say. Why the hell is he hanging around so much ? Doesn't he have a job to go to ? Because you have to walk through sales to get to where Kev perches on his comedy stool where he's doing whatever the hell he does. What do you do ? He close the door and shaves his legs.

Kev: Actually do you want to see my legs ? I have very nice legs.

(Nellie whistles)

Nick: Yeah, I want to see your legs, come in and show me your legs. (Pause) Stop right there !