Here's a transcript from Talk Radio in 1996 when a woman called Reena rang up who is most definatly two toilet rolls short of a six pack.

Nick: Let's go to Reena.

Reena: (mad Voice) Hello ?

Nick: Reena.

Reena: Hello Nick ?

Nick: Uh-oh. (Pause) Hello Reena !

Reena: Hello ? Can you hear me ?

Nick: (Very sarcastically) Erm yeah, it sounds like you.

Reena: Yeah, it is me (Mumbled voice) You'll have to excuse my throat.

Nick: No what ?

Reena: You'll have to excuse my throat.

Nick: Your throat ?

Reena: Yeah, it's filled with abcesse's

Nick: It's filled with acid ?

Reena: ABCESSE'S.

Nick: Abcesse's ?

Reena: Yeah.

Nick: What a lovely picture.

Reena: Yeah I'm a bit of a nightraker

Nick: You're a ..?

Reena: A nightraker.

Nick: A Nightraker ?

Reena: With the Talk Radio.

Nick: You rake during the night.

Reena: Yeah, every night.

Nick: A nightraker

Reena: And I stay awake all day as well.

Nick: You stay awake all day and all night and you've got a throat full of abcesse's. Really ? (Laughs)

Reena: Yeah but that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Nick: (Still laughing) What are the odds on that ? And you think you might be a little rundown, Reena ?

Reena: Yeah. I've been to the doctor's and he's given me a load of tablet's.

Nick: Really ?

Reena: I didn't want to go but I had to eventually.

Nick: Is the doctor pleased to see you when you go ?

Reena: Well he just sort of er.. wants to get you out quickly.

Nick: He just wants to get you out ?

Reena: Yeah.

Nick: What are the odds on that ?

Reena: I've got a sheet in my drawer.

Nick: You've got a what in your drawer ?

Reena: A piece of paper

Nick: Oh, a sheet !

Reena: And it must have ‘undred different tablets prescribed to me without knowing what's wrong.

Nick: Do you ever have to keep any of your medicine in your fridge ?

Reena: No.

Nick: Have you ever gone a long period of time without taking any of your medicine ?

Reena: Yeah, right now.

Nick: Right now is exactly what I thought you were going to say !! That's what I like people who are on heavy medication, don't take your medicine then call me, 0500-10-53-89.

Reena: Right, er..ok er.. I wanted to ask you a favour Nick.

Nick: Yes Reena ?

Reena: Err... You know you er.. have these supermarkets like Asda and Netto and Tesco and er.. such like.

Nick: Yeah without naming any brand names you did that really well. That was excellent, thanks a lot.

Reena: Am I alright ?

Nick: What ?

Reena: Am I doing alright ?

Nick: You've been doing great so far.

Reena: I want to mention a backstreet shop (Pause) That's not promoted.

Nick: A backstreet shop ?

Reena: Yeah. Err... They call it Aladdins's erm.. They call it Bargain Basement.

Nick: Yeah.

Reena: It's on North Castle Street.

Nick: Is this just an advert for a shop ?

Reena: No, it's because of what these two people have done for me.

Nick: They've done something to you ?

Reena: For me.

Nick: Oh, for you !

Reena: So, in a way it's a bit of appreciation.

Nick: Right and if they hadn't have helped you in the manner that we're about to hear then you would have probably lost your mind. Am I right ?

Reena: Right.

(Nick laughs)

Reena: Erm... There's a second hand come new furniture shop.

Nick: Er, I'm sorry there's a second hand Come new Furniture shop ?

Reena: Yeah, they sell both.

Nick: Uh-Huh and so what have you picked up lately Reena ?

Reena: Well I've re-furnished my house.

Nick: Have you ? And what colour is it ? Black ?