[Nick talking about the latest James Bond movie]

Nick: It's the same movie every time. It starts with a stunt, which in this movie isn't very good. Then they have the thing were he meets M and the guy with the gadgets. 'Pay attention 007,' he says.

Kev: Q.

Nick: Q, that's right. And he has the jokey thing with Q, and Q's like a bit fumbly and bumbly and James Bond picks it up instantly, like he's just ridiculous. And then they have like a chase, and then a couple of stunts and then he gets to meet the bad guy, who in this case is, what's his name?

Kev: Jonathan Pryce

Nick: Not good in it. Jonathan Pryce is a great actor, I've admired him very much in the other stuff that he's done. In this movie, not good 'cus he doesn't have that spark of evil. Although Jonathan Pryce was in Brazil, wasn't he? He did have that edge of nastiness about him and he was very good, it was a tremendous movie.

But in this? No, he kind of looked like a ridiculous comic cartoon character. Silly. And so James Bond meets the guy who should kill him instantly, but the bad guy who's trying to take over the world for his own financial gain, usually that's what it is, he should kill James Bond instantly but, oh no, it's like he hasn't seen the other movies so he toys with him. He says, 'I'm going to kill you or tie you up with rope that's [laugh] frayed a lot in the middle.' You know rubbish like that.

And then James Bond forts the guys plans and then meets some huge muscular arian type who you think no way can, some one like Pierce Brosnan, like a stick could possible beat this guy, then of course he does, kills him with you know dastardly trickery and then gets to kill the big guy and then sleep with the girl while he's being sought, while the British are trying to pick him up and he's like, 'Shall I drift with the girl in the middle of the Indian Ocean and die or shall I put up a hand and say here we are?' And he chooses to drift in the middle of the ocean. What an idiot.

So that's every single James Bond movie in a nutshell. Because apart from anything else Pierce Brosnan is not James Bond, who's it going next time, John Inman? He doesn't have the sexual chemistry that's required for the role, he doesn't have the muscularity, the fiscal presence, he ain't James Bond. He just flat out ain't. And neither was what's his name, the villain. Er, the only bloke that looked remotely like he belonged in the movie was the muscular arian bloke but nobody's got any idea who he was, and he died. Oh no! I've given it away!

Kev: Oh man!

Nick: [Laugh]